floppylala

Patient passed away today within two hours of the start of my shift. Gave him dignity and the best care I could. Not even worried everybody at work saw me crying like a baby.

Had an amazing birthday at the hospital. Was able to spend some quality time w/a dying patient who has no one in his life. He came out of his haze yesterday just long enough to look me in the eyes and tell me he loved me and thank me for being so nice to him. I felt incredibly graced to be able to be there for him and as much as I am terrified of it, I hope to be their for his death, which by best estimates will be in the next couple of days.

I am advocating for his dignity and taking the time to give him the niceties that I imagine would be helpful. Things like water from a sponge (he can no longer drink and it helps moisten his lips and mouth), giving him foot rubs with lotion, and hold his hand, caress his head, and whisper to him that I love him and it has been so nice to have met him. We all want to feel we have been loved.

I'm glad to have some private time at home tonight. I'm a wreck. :-)

Love to you all.